Questions I would like to ask the gays…

As a self-proclaimed hetero, I, like most of you have often wondered what makes the common homosexual tick. Here are some questions I would ask them were I brave enough and impervious to pain. Of course none of it is meant with a mean spirit, just my child-like curiosity.

1. Why?
2.When did you decide that unlike most of your peers, you would like to have things inserted into your anus?
3. Does the smell of poo get you excited?
4. Do boobies gross you out?
5. Do you ever pleasure yourself in front of a mirror?
6. Does the sight of a big wiener frighten you because it will be painful and cause worse bowel control?
7. What’s a guy got to do to get a reach-around here?
8. Do moustaches really stick together like Velcro?
9. Did you realise you were gay before or after you started speaking and walking funny?
10. Do you truly find people who speak funny and walk effeminately attractive and not creepy like everyone else?
11. How do you decide who’s the pitcher and who’s the catcher on a given night?
12. Do you ever think you want to change you mind and un-gay?
13. As marriage is often thought of as a religious contract, and most religions shun gayness, why would you want to enter into such a union in the first place?
14. If someone does some gay sex things while drunk, are they gay?
15. If someone says they are only attracted their own gender but do not or have not had sex with one of their own gender are they gay yet?
16. How do you "clean the pipes" after bum love without making a big mess?
17. If two guys are taking turns gaying each other, does the one who doesn't finish first get a bum deal?

But I can’t ever ask these questions because none of the gays I know want to open up about such important things (despite putting their sexuality out on display), so I guess I’ll be stuck with my curiosity…unless…

18. If “someone” pretended to be gay to find out the rituals, would you realise they are not really gay right away?

Angelina Jolie sans boobies?

Now I may be an uptight Englishman, but the idea of Angelina Jolie without boobs makes me think: What's the point?

Perhaps I should back up a bit...

Earlier in the light-month it became publicly known that the woman with the coveted lips, and rack-to-die-for had undergone this surgery thingy as a precautionary measure against breast cancer. In fact HERE is an article she wrote herself about the whole thingy.

Now this whole thing, very possibly makes me hate cancer more than ever.

I'm sure that IF Brad Pitt can deal with life beyond breasts, he'll come to hate it too.  Then again, we are talking about a guy who dumped Jennifer Aniston for a younger hotter "model", who he might think is quickly turning out to be a lemon.  But I still would.

So I suppose it's safe to say she won't be making GIA 2: The Lesbianing any time soon, in fact we've likely seen the end of the token topless scenes in her films, which may translate to the last of her films period.

One must admire Angelina for making such a personal thing public as a way to help other ladies feel more secure in making the same choice... maybe if Brad Pitt tells us all about his colonoscopy, men who are queasy about the idea of getting a foreign finger up the bum would be less squeamish too.

Still, what I find odd is that as if having that kind of embarrassing and personal procedure made public weren't humiliating enough, an artist decided to make topless a painting of Angelina sans-boobs... or at least sans-nipples. So I return to my original question: What is the point?

Is this insensitive? Perhaps, but her well-formed, nippled breasts were a big part of the reason anyone enjoyed seeing her naked in the first place.